Update on University Life and Relationships.

So it's been quite a while since I have written anything remotely related to my life and my feelings -- Therefore, I must write a blog! :D It's almost time for my final exams (in a week and a half.) and I've not read much of my textbooks for all five of my courses, haha. My family is in Chatham and I live by myself in Toronto. I've become accustomed to cooking for myself and not getting much sleep. Sure, I get extremely exhausted sometimes and sleep half a day and miss a couple classes!

Procrastination continues daily - as I do all of my assignments last minute, just as I've done since the beginning of high school. But the only difference is, I'm paying for my education and there are serious consequences if you fail in university! Yes, it is of great comfort knowing I face hard core failure if I don't study hard enough and keep up with the readings in all my classes. So far, I haven't done that. My midterm marks proved that I should really get my shit together. But look what happened. Here I am sitting at my desk, typing away on my laptop like I have all the time in the world, when in fact, I have two different assignments due tonight. One of them worth 20% of my final mark! Oh the horror of university!

But the good thing is, nobody pesters you to do your work and keep up with the readings. Why, you may ask. Well.... Consider the fact that you've already paid for your education in advance in a large chunk of money called "tuition." They play it smart unlike the rest of us, you see. :) And the freedom you get to have in time management and healthy eating. Which basically means you're going to get a huge pot belly and won't pass your courses -with the expected grade point average from your parents- to save your life, or your parents' hard-earned money, for that matter. I myself paid for most of my education through scholarships and the OSAP loans I received are well stored away in my bank account, for me to spend on whatever I please. All except for useful studying resources, haha.

Textbooks are no joke. They cost a fortune and give you headaches. You have to spend even more money on Tylenol and such pain killers to reduce the state of absentmindedness. Is it really worth it?

My campus is the size of an average high school, it just has two more floors. It is a pretty awesome campus though, I won't lie. It is very much tech-savvy and artistic to a point of being unnoticeable. It's got a green plant wall right when you enter through the main entrance and a spiral staircase that leads up to four levels high. Sad thing is, it is just that of a single building. It makes for a very cozy environment, other than that fact that you always have to go next door to Humber College to get somewhat of a decent meal since the only place on my actual school property that sells anything remotely close to food is William's Coffee Pub and that place is overpriced and has minimal servings suited for mice. I wish they had a Tim Horton's.... -Sighs-

Friends are easy to come by at my school. Class sizes are 65 people maximum. Now, if you're in the business program - and most people that attend Guelph-Humber are in the business major. I heard that close to 65% of our school population major in business. And no, I'm not lying about that. So business students are most likely to come across one or two people that share majority of your classes in every year. Does that sound so terrifying that you might pass out from all the stress of having an amazing social life in university? O: Haha, if you live on residence, you share commodities with Humber students so you're more likely to have more friends on campus. If you're like me and live off campus, but still pretty close to school, you may or may not have a lot of friends. But you have a few that you talk to often. :)

The thing I miss the most about high school would be having a regular schedule that drags on for the entire semester. I'm not talking weekly, but daily! My high school was semestered so it was very convenient for me to go to school some back, do some work and then continue with whatever I pleased. In university, I still don't know the entire schedule. And it's a week and a half until my final exams, haha. XD Hopefully I will start studying this week and save my sorry ass from failure!

If not, there's always work - since I have become an English tutor, haha. It's a well-paid job, at twenty dollars per hour, and I tutor a girl in grade seven. I guess it's kind of funny to tutor someone so young and receive the amount of money I do.... But it's not all fun and games! It's hard work and I'm doing the best that I can to give her maximum results in a minimum amount of time. :)

Relationships are a hassle and I've gotten out of one recently. Safe to say, I'm better off single because I can't manage my time well -while attending university- to save my life. Church is, of course, a regular habit for me since I was born and I am a Christian, after all. :) So I don't miss Sunday services. :D Other than that, there isn't much else in my life.... I don't want to go into details about my past relationship since it'll drag on to another full two pages and maybe another half, hehe. It was short and bittersweet to say the least. But it'll be something to remember, and that's good enough for me!

That pretty much sums up my university life as a first year student at the university of Guelph-Humber! Until next time.... :)

- Hanna K. Lee

A Midwinter Night's Dream

Last night, I had the strangest dream.... I normally have the most peculiar dreams, but this one was one of the best without a doubt. It started off at my eighteenth birthday party. I had apparently rented some HUGE mansion (yes, that's what I said!) and this party was unsupervised. I had intended to make it the most memorable party of the year, and that it definitely was.

Many people came to my "super awesome birthday bash" and so many people I didn't even know came with my friends. Acquaintances were made, and congratulatory gestures also made, as well as presenting of birthday gifts. There was a round table which was being stacked with gifts by one of the staff at the mansion. It was just beginning to be stacked and yet there were so many gifts lying on the floor near the table; and this place was gigantic so that's saying something.

Some people were from my old school and some people who are close friends outside of school. One of my closest friends seemed to be mad at me and had come to the party drunk. His best friend told me that he was mad at me because I had invited people from my new school (which I hadn't been aware of until she mentioned this to me) and I was feeling utterly guilty. He positioned himself in front of the arcade (yeah, that's how great my party was... in my dream) and started staring at some of the people playing games. I took him by his hands and turned him to face me. All of a sudden, he just started dancing - incredibly. I was basically dumbfounded and mesmerized by his dancing. "Yeah, I told you I can dance! You didn't believe me, did you?" I was taken aback by the harsh tone of his comment, as true as it was. His best friend told him to stop dancing. "You're going to hurt yourself! You remember what happened last time!" she told him. His face had turned extremely red and he was breathing really hard. Then I just walked over to him, looked at him with sad eyes, and then held him really, really tight. After I had let him go, he looked at me blankly and walked away. Yeah, I'm guessing he was still a little upset. But he was drunk, after all. So I figured we'd be okay after a while. I greeted more of my friends and we talked for a bit, the usual social circumstances, I suppose.

But the next thing that happened was pretty unbelievable. There had been an undercover detective that had been at the birthday bash, and the next thing you know, he tells me there are stoners / dealers who had gotten into the party. I went downstairs to discover what was called the "Pot Circle", a supposed event that was a part of my party. It consisted of multiple classmates from my old school and an odd looking man whom I had never seen before in my entire life. What made him stand out wasn't the fact that I hadn't seen him before, but the fact that he was carrying a monstrous blade on his back. He caught a glimpse of me, and out of nowhere came this blade, flying straight at me. Luckily, he missed by an inch or two. I had to get out of there, really fast. I ran for my life (literally) and I saw that the guests had fled and the mansion was half empty. There were the druggie’s minions everywhere! All over the place like an infestation of cockroaches. It was truly disgusting. I saw a beam of light coming through the window. I leapt out, only to find myself at the ledge. I was stuck between murder and suicide. I crept down the side, and lowered myself so that I would be able to hide from the scouting minions. Then I noticed my friend who had gotten mad at me before with his friend. She was really attractive, of course. They had the same style of clothing, the same attractive vibe. He was staring at me now. “This is my new girlfriend.” He said it with such emphasis. But the girl at his side looked daring, confident. I ignored that remark, thinking the alcohol must still be in his system. All of us crept along the ledge now. Slowly, carefully. Not to fall and bring death so easily what lives we had spared with such difficulty. The spotters had seen us. We slid down the wall of the mansion with ease, to my surprise. We had become major ninjas. We kept coming down the wall, little by little. We had reached the bottom within a couple minutes.

My friend seemed to want to go by himself and his new girlfriend but I grabbed him and ran, only to discover, a deep green motorcycle right before our eyes. The druggie’s minions were chasing us, on their motorcycles. This reminded me of Mook from Falcon Beach. I started the engine of the motorcycle and away we went, swerving from side to side. I did not know how to drive a motorcycle but it seemed to be working well by itself. As we reached a small stone bridge, and the minions closing in on us, I woke up.

It was certainly a fascinating dream and realistic to me or at least it seemed that way while I was dreaming. I don’t think I’ll forget this dream anytime soon… Maybe because it involved many people who I’m close to in real life, but more so because it’s not everyday you have dreams about biker gangs who are also stoners, whose leader carries a huge blade on his back and flings it at people who haven’t seen him before. It’s the way I interpreted this dream that may have me thinking negatively about these turn of events, but hey, it was my dream after all. I enjoy having dreams and will keep posting bizarre sets of dreams on my blog. :)

The Afterworks of Movement

The days after we moved to Chatham seem to pass by very quickly and effortlessly. No wait, scratch that, there were countless efforts to get here, where we are now: Chatham Kent, Ontario.

It certainly is different from Toronto, and I have to say that it may be a good change after all.

I have not spoken to my best friend since I have seen her at school on Tuesday, February 26th. I have tried to contact her before I moved here but such luck was not in my cards.
AJ (my guy best friend in Toronto) called me tonight and left me happy and informed about the hopes of attending prom this June. Going back there will most definitely be an unforgettable memory. I'm so looking forward to it! ^^
Not so much the shopping aspects of it since I find shopping to be a slight annoyance.... -sighs-

Another thing is that the first day of school was a supposed "Bus Day" when buses don't run so kids don't come to school. It would be RIDICULOUS to take school buses in Toronto if you are attending high school, but in Chatham, it's a regular routine people go through everyday.
The changes we're going through now as a family aren't all that difficult as of now. I'm sure they will be different once we get used to this environment. My younger brother Chris and I, that is.

The basement is cold and bone-chilling. I have never resided in any form of home other than an apartment all my life, so this is weird. XD It's not a bad change, I suppose. But my room in Toronto was twice as wide as the room I have now in Chatham. I barely have enough space to put away all my things here. So I left some boxes as they are. I had around ten boxes or so full of things I would bring here. I still have to unpack two or three of them. It won't take too long but these days, I am always hungry or exhausted. I don't think it's a very healthy sign. Plus going back and forth from Toronto to Chatham these last few weeks left us with malnurishment and a constant diet of fast food. A greasy and trans-fat packed bag of flour and bloodclotted burgers and thin lines of fried potatoes, salted. Not a very balanced meal, I think.

I have not regretted making the choice to come to Chatham so far and I hope I won't regret it.
My old school was an environment I was very used to; people I knew all my high school life and friends who supported me in almost everything I did. But now I have to make new friends and acquaintances. It's not such a challenge for me as it is a requirement. I'm not sure how interactive I'll choose to remain with everyone here, but the goal is to get along with everyone "peacefully". Due to my social and outgoing personality, I will tend to make friends without thinking thoroughly. And because of my intelligence and different way of thinking, I will tend to separate myself from everyone once in a while.

An escape route that has been all too frequent these last couple years.
Stressing over marks wasn't anything I worried too much about up until this year. I noticed a gradual but steady decrease in my work efforts and left me in fear for my hopes of getting into the university, since the chances were slimming down gradually. This will all change soon. I won't just sit back and let laziness ruin the opportunity of being able to LEARN! In a brand new environment packed full of students who are just as intelligent as I hope to be one day. Students who surpass expectations of parents! A dream too good to be true.

I will anticipate this moment and work towards it. I WILL pass all my courses with high marks. I WILL obtain and maintain a high average throughout the remaining semester and succeed.

"Time waits for no man."

Moving Away from a Place of Urban Decay

February 21st, 2008

Two weeks ago, my dad received a job offer from a church in Chatham.

My dad, being a pastor, doesn't get much of an income and so my mom works part-time. Our church right now consists of two members outside of our family. Really tiny, I would say. But since this was a great opportunity for my dad's career, he accepted the job offer. So we planned on moving there in June, when I would graduate from my current high school. It would only be four months until then so we decided to hold the move until later.

This past weekend, when we went to our new church for the first time, the members told my parents that it is absolutely necessary that both my parents be there at all times. My parents could only agree, of course, so they obliged; the move was pulled up latest by March Break, which is in a couple weeks. It was decided that my older brother and I would stay in Toronto to finish this school year and join them, come summer. But that was not to be.

My band teacher from last semester gave me a 100% as my midterm mark. I was extremely happy, of course. I didn't even consider myself that good of a flutist. But that mark didn't last too long.... At my final exam, we were given six pieces to play. I played the first three pieces and was told by now band teacher to stop playing. He said my playing was horrible and he no longer wished me to continue playing. I asked him about half a dozen times for him to let me continue playing. He told me it was unnecessary and told me to stop playing. So I did.

My final report card came home. He had given me a 72 as my final mark in that course. AND I was enrolled in the Gr.11 Credit since I had not taken this course the year before. I was more than capable of playing the same pieces as the Gr.12's, of course. So my teacher told me he would give me a Gr.12 credit. I took his word for it. But on my report card, it said I had received a Gr.11 credit. I was royally pissed.

I went to school the following morning, report card in my hand, and walked up to my band teacher. "Sir, you REALLY can't do this to me!" I said, marching up to him and waving the blue paper in his face. "Oh? Why? What's wrong with your mark? You played HORRIBLY!" I was mortified. "Sir, you told me that you were going to give me a high mark in that class! That mark was supposed to BUMP UP my average! Not drag it down!" He just gave me a blank look and asked me whether this was my final year. "Yes, of course it is," I replied. "I need this mark for university!" He then told me not to worry; I'm graduating this year anyways, so it shouldn't matter. OHH NO. It's BECAUSE of the fact that it's my final year that I need that grade that badly! All he did was tell me he would look over my marks and he walked away. I decided shortly thereafter if my grade isn't fixed soon, I have to go talk to someone from the board of education. I had to have my mark!

Beginning the second semester, I had a guidance appointment.
I was scheduled for early in the morning but I had been away that day due to my sickness. My teacher told me I missed my appointment and I went downstairs to check with the guidance secretary. Since I had a very good relationship with that secretary, she happily obliged to re-booking my appointment. My courses didn't have any real problems so far. I would stay with my courses now and get a high average like I had planned.

My first period class was a tech design class. I was again enrolled in Gr.11 but I asked my guidance counsellor whether I could upgrade this course credit. He said as long as my teacher came down to talk to him, I could have the Gr.12 credit. So I asked my teacher as a favour and she readily agreed. I was a good student in most of my classes and a favourite among quite a few number of teachers. The next day, she approached me and carefully told me that my guidance counsellor had informed her that since I don't have my Gr.10 prerequisite, I couldn't get my Gr.12 credit even if I were more than able to complete all requirements of the Gr.12 course. I couldn't believe that he gave me false hopes and said something entirely different to my teacher than what he had told me! I then decided I couldn't stay at such a school; a school whose teachers went back on their words and failed the trust of their students. It was no longer necessary to stay at such a school.

I informed my dad last night of my misfortunes. He would call the board of education in Chatham and get me a course selection sheet as soon as possible. I would be moving away to Chatham, a rural town 3 hours west of Toronto, in less than two weeks.

If this is the only way I can go to university next year with full credits, so be it....

I just feel the slightest regret for my closest of friends whom I will miss sickeningly. <3